Appalled by Huskerville Elementary ‘Farm Art’, a large group of Surfers plan “March Against Machines”on January 10th. 2nd graders from Miss Bleu’s art group had depicted tractors plowing up ‘a field of color’ in an attempt to bring local agriculture into the classroom while learning Color Theory. “We’re not propagandizing anything!” said Bleu. “Farming is part of our life here; a rainbow of lovely color shouldn’t spark any hard feelings!”
The surfers are part of a delegation raising awareness about large corporations and ‘morality’, though most see this as a thinly-disguised anti-gmo fear-mongering group out to discredit seed companies. Flying to the mainland from Oahu, most of the surfers had joined forces during a recent march, spouting phrases like, “You’re killing our Keiki!” and “You’re murdering our natural resources!” The island farming groups that ARE working together have expressed frustration at the surfers’ (and anti-gmo proponents) general knowledge base. “They’ve admittedly educated themselves via the Internet…and most have no experience in real genetics or agriculture and hold no scientific degree from any institution.”
In the small town of Huskerville, Principal S. Williams said that while the Surfers can legally march outside, they’ll be banned from entering the building itself. “We uphold a strict dress code which includes shirts AND footwear… and given the dangerous nature of those toxic surfboards…well, we aren’t comfortable allowing them near our children. I just don’t understand their (the surfers) reasoning. Most small towns and schools in the Corn Belt have been completely surrounded by fields for decades. We have no dead ‘keiki’! Most people know that children raised on farms are much healthier individuals. ”
Lyle Hammett, one of the 2nd grade artists, piped up, “Gram and gramps grow lots of corn AND organic tomatoes. THEY never fight. Am I going to die soon?” As he burst into tears, Mrs. Williams remarked: “The community doesn’t mind them coming here. We’ll listen because we’re known for our manners. But you can bet we’ll be doing some eye-rolling later! It makes me sad for them—all that money wasted on plane tickets should be spent on a simple University science class.”
The rally begins at 1:00pm.