Monday, December 23, 2013

Surfers March Against Monsanto

Appalled by Huskerville Elementary ‘Farm Art’, a large group of Surfers plan “March Against Machines”on January 10th. 2nd graders from Miss Bleu’s art group had depicted tractors plowing up ‘a field of color’ in an attempt to bring local agriculture into the classroom while learning Color Theory. “We’re not propagandizing anything!” said Bleu. “Farming is part of our life here; a rainbow of lovely color shouldn’t spark any hard feelings!”
The surfers are part of a delegation raising awareness about large corporations and ‘morality’, though most see this as a thinly-disguised anti-gmo fear-mongering group out to discredit seed companies. Flying to the mainland from Oahu, most of the surfers had joined forces during a recent march, spouting phrases like, “You’re killing our Keiki!” and “You’re murdering our natural resources!” The island farming groups that ARE working together have expressed frustration at the surfers’ (and anti-gmo proponents) general knowledge base. “They’ve admittedly educated themselves via the Internet…and most have no experience in real genetics or agriculture and hold no scientific degree from any institution.”
In the small town of Huskerville, Principal S. Williams said that while the Surfers can legally march outside, they’ll be banned from entering the building itself. “We uphold a strict dress code which includes shirts AND footwear… and given the dangerous nature of those toxic surfboards…well, we aren’t comfortable allowing them near our children. I just don’t understand their (the surfers) reasoning. Most small towns and schools in the Corn Belt have been completely surrounded by fields for decades. We have no dead ‘keiki’! Most people know that children raised on farms are much healthier individuals. ”
Lyle Hammett, one of the 2nd grade artists, piped up, “Gram and gramps grow lots of corn AND organic tomatoes. THEY never fight. Am I going to die soon?” As he burst into tears, Mrs. Williams remarked: “The community doesn’t mind them coming here. We’ll listen because we’re known for our manners. But you can bet we’ll be doing some eye-rolling later! It makes me sad for them—all that money wasted on plane tickets should be spent on a simple University science class.”
The rally begins at 1:00pm.
Check out and support the New Surfer Rally at

On a side note, it appears that the Facebook Page 'Surfers Against GMOs' have NO friends, and 'Surfers Against Monsanto' have a grand total of 4 in support!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Bad Books at BookBub

or badly written books?? Thought maybe I would keep a running total of anything I thought sounded awkward or middle-schoolish!

Working bees is sheer toil. They do not take kindly to someone opening their hives to steal the product of their hard work of collecting nectar.

He silently paddled the kayak through the chilly waters of the Kentucky River, alone except for the occasional river otters slipping playfully down their muddy slides or the screech owl beckoning mournfully from a redbud tree ready to open its pink blossoms announcing spring in the Bluegrass.

Because over the past three weeks Michelle had upped the ante.

Like the cherrywood drop leaf, a fifteen dollar garage sale find she’d parked in front of the window so she could look out while she drank her morning coffee or ate her supper in the evening.

A closer look at the pain on his face though had her using a gentler hand as she helped him sit up so she could get rid of the shirt altogether. After studying the wound, she headed back to the bathroom. A few minutes later she returned with several hand towels, and a sewing kit she’d found inside a very tidily arranged drawer that looked as if an obsessive-compulsive had directed everything line up just exactly so.

She threw open the sewing kit and selected the longest needle at least three inches in length, an ugly-looking thing she would use only as a last resort.

Since he’d already felt like a wuss once tonight back in the alley the moment he’d been rescued by a woman, he sucked it up.

This morning during my staff meeting, which should’ve held my interest and had me deeply engrossed in the status reports from each of my department heads, I got curious.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Summer Reading List

Decided I am becoming a fan of Cormac McCarthy--I'd written about The Road previously, but just read Blood Meridian, against my son-in-laws recommendations--of NOT reading it! It was just too gruesome/depressing for him to continue. It was that, but the writing is so interesting and compelling and with over 100 new/unknown words that tickled my brain, plus--now that I know he's compared to Faulkner, well it kept me going.
...and now i have a list to look up from All the Pretty Horses, too!

*****   Blood Meridian                                disturbingly awesome LOVE THE WORD CHOICES!
*****   All the Pretty Horses                     again, lovely eerie word choices, interesting
*****   Fall on Your Knees                          horribly sad, can’t put it down
*----       Wife 22                                                                guessed ending right away, modern
***--     NOS4A2                                               bizarre, should be a movie, 680pgs!
***--     The Night Circus                               calmly magical, better for high school girl
****-    Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness                 I want to write this.
*----       The Odd Sea                                      Fairly boring      
***--     Shift Omnibus (next series of Wool)       Wool was better; wanted to find out more.
*****   Love in the Time of Cholera        Lovely descriptions
***--     Elizabeth Street                               average
***--     The Wordy Shipmates (1/2)        quite funny; anti-religion/anti-republican
**---      Trash                                                     terrible abuse + um, ick
****-    The Orchardist                                  just nice; keeps you reading
***--     The Little Russian Servant                           short story
**___   War Brides                         news reporter parts=juvenile writing, but enjoyed the girls
*****   All the Pretty Horses                     again, lovely eerie word choices, interesting
****-    The Misremembered Man                          nice, needed more ‘irish’ detail
****-    Tess of the D’Ubervilles                               had forgotten the ending
*----       The Chimney Sweeper’s Son                      not finished yet               
              Childhood's End                                           just started    Sci-Fi
Kim                                                        still reading…

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Mutant Chicken on Craigslist

Well piss and moan everybody. It appears that my craigslist posting this week gravely offended several people, though I've yet to put my finger on the exact reason (lie!).
Anyway, my attempt at snide humor received several complaints and 2 or 3 positive remarks; (even a gentle explanation on 'the packaging of whole chickens' by someone calling me 'Honey'--as if I had the IQ of a drumstick)..... but the ad got booted off none-the-less.
I think its 'cause I used the word 'Lord' or maybe 'cause I misspelled 'God'.
Here it is...     MUTANT CHICKEN   under Free stuff.

My GAWD! It's been years since I've purchased a baking hen; the last few were strangely empty. . . but not the chicken I bought at Aldi's this weekend folks. . .no vacuous body cavity here--it came eerily packed with THREE NECKS! Lord!!!

I don't know about you, but after watching 'Falling Skies' on Amazon this week, a three-headed chicken sorta creeps me out. What is this?? A biotech-issued Hell-Hen created for staccato seed-pecking? I guess the quicker they feed, the faster they grow.

No guts-no glory. . .Out of hunger, I baked it anyway; quite delicious I may add.  Should I later produce an offspring reminiscent of Cerberus, remember--you read it here first, folks!

What I'll do:  I've saved the bones for anyone interested in testing the DNA of this miraculous creation--they're yours for FREE, but I reserved the right for publicity should this poultry prove to be a true *genetically-modified Frankenorganism.

*In case you're wondering, I'm not anti-GMO and willing to take my chances on ingesting this bizarre fowl. . .. . .'While genetic modification of plants and animals has only been possible in a laboratory setting for a few decades, humans have been artificially genetically modifying creatures and plants for consumption for millennia. Through the process of the domestication of wild flora and fauna, human breeders looked for desirable traits and then encouraged them through selective breeding. The results are a new genetically modified creation that was fit for consumption.'

(and Mr. X--your question "Three Peckers"??  Really? Now, THAT could be viewed as offensive!!!)