Saturday, May 4, 2013

Mutant Chicken on Craigslist

Well piss and moan everybody. It appears that my craigslist posting this week gravely offended several people, though I've yet to put my finger on the exact reason (lie!).
Anyway, my attempt at snide humor received several complaints and 2 or 3 positive remarks; (even a gentle explanation on 'the packaging of whole chickens' by someone calling me 'Honey'--as if I had the IQ of a drumstick)..... but the ad got booted off none-the-less.
I think its 'cause I used the word 'Lord' or maybe 'cause I misspelled 'God'.
Here it is...     MUTANT CHICKEN   under Free stuff.

My GAWD! It's been years since I've purchased a baking hen; the last few were strangely empty. . . but not the chicken I bought at Aldi's this weekend folks. . .no vacuous body cavity here--it came eerily packed with THREE NECKS! Lord!!!

I don't know about you, but after watching 'Falling Skies' on Amazon this week, a three-headed chicken sorta creeps me out. What is this?? A biotech-issued Hell-Hen created for staccato seed-pecking? I guess the quicker they feed, the faster they grow.

No guts-no glory. . .Out of hunger, I baked it anyway; quite delicious I may add.  Should I later produce an offspring reminiscent of Cerberus, remember--you read it here first, folks!

What I'll do:  I've saved the bones for anyone interested in testing the DNA of this miraculous creation--they're yours for FREE, but I reserved the right for publicity should this poultry prove to be a true *genetically-modified Frankenorganism.

*In case you're wondering, I'm not anti-GMO and willing to take my chances on ingesting this bizarre fowl. . .. . .'While genetic modification of plants and animals has only been possible in a laboratory setting for a few decades, humans have been artificially genetically modifying creatures and plants for consumption for millennia. Through the process of the domestication of wild flora and fauna, human breeders looked for desirable traits and then encouraged them through selective breeding. The results are a new genetically modified creation that was fit for consumption.'

(and Mr. X--your question "Three Peckers"??  Really? Now, THAT could be viewed as offensive!!!)