Take the ‘Octomom’. Oprah’s used ‘Va-jay-jay’ based on Grey’s Anatomies word choice, but Chelsea' s irreverent ‘Ka-sslop-us’ has tickled me pink! (‘Octo-canal’ was another…giggle!) Sorry all men out there, but the wet, wide, mushiness of that word (combined with my utter distaste for swoll-lip Suliman) has amused me for days….ka-sssllopp-us! Whaaa.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Let the Bodies Hit the Floor...
Since Bailey has been TV-barren for 4 years, she’d never had the opportunity to watch ‘Chelsea Lately’. We caught as many of these as we could fit into our busy spring-break schedule, as C H reminds me of an old friend—Nancy, a gal who wasn’t afraid to say anything and everything no matter where she went. Always a blast, her outspoken, harsh, and shockingly inappropriate remarks were/are sure to get a laugh.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Something Wicked This Way Comes...
I'd written a blog or two in the past about a nastily-smooth-talkin', self-perceived-heart-throbbin', ridiculously-poofed-self-justified, devious-ba$tardly coot. (MOM STALKER!)
So last night when it became obvious to me that no individual in a realistic/sane frame of mind would drive 23 miles to pull his new stunt in MY neighborhood-- well! I believe his attention has turned to Wamego KS instead of St. Marys. Lucky me.
Got some uneasy feelings about the future...trepidation arises! What's up his sleeve now? I'm assuming a level of 'the Resentful Stalker' is kicking in. I will spend some time on the phone come Monday. The courthouse is first on my list...
I really want to type a bad word 3 feet high...but I won't! Use your imagination.
So last night when it became obvious to me that no individual in a realistic/sane frame of mind would drive 23 miles to pull his new stunt in MY neighborhood-- well! I believe his attention has turned to Wamego KS instead of St. Marys. Lucky me.
Got some uneasy feelings about the future...trepidation arises! What's up his sleeve now? I'm assuming a level of 'the Resentful Stalker' is kicking in. I will spend some time on the phone come Monday. The courthouse is first on my list...
I really want to type a bad word 3 feet high...but I won't! Use your imagination.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sea? Navigation.
When Bailey and Nate told me that the pool (by which they were married) was now murky and low and yet still an area evoking laughs and good times, I wondered what was so amusing outdoors at this time of year...
Both these young folk have a deliciously different sense of humor. When Nate was living in Ireland, they'd exchange clever little anecdotes by hotmail based on their 'people watching' skills...or powerpoint presentations of deep sea slug/seahorse marriage stories and the like. Sometimes these were forwarded to me...which upped my mood for the day. Anyway...the topic of the swimming pool:a tiny shrew boating (stranded) on a lonely flipflop... HA! ("Are you sure it wasn't Stuart Little?" "Was it oaring with a dried leaf?" Yes, the correct word is 'rowing' not 'oaring', but I'm not correct.) I picture it with a tiny Shakespearean dress w/ minute white apron and cap, gently riding the waves, an acorn bowl filled with mulberry seeds traveling by her side...
The weekend was great! So many people around right now! My sis-in-law from Georgia/Florida flew in for a B-day Party; she had just made Chief in the Air Guard and we got to watch footage from her ceremony: Congratulations! She works her buns off... My other sis-in-law from Fairbanks flew in for a Wedding... and brought the most amazing chocolates. We got in a tif over whether she said bought or brought--as in homemade! Talk about perfect. Pale green mint, white with hearts, chocolate stripes. We visited one of HER relatives and had a bazillion farm kitties love us. Brian had sent us pics of his new knives for our viewing pleasure. A nephew showed us his rotating hog-roasting barbecue-- I think I might have newcomers for the invention page. UPS friend held a Hunter Safety Course for Nate and Bail, where Bailey shot the center out of all of her targets--rifle and pistol. I did well--with a bipod! Nate kicked a$$ with the shotguns and we all shot Brig's Russian antique. Talk about chest percussion...ba-whoomp. ba-whoomp. The kids got a new puppy for their move to Alaska and she's a fuzzy sweet thing with a great temperament(and I don't even like dogs!) Between the good company of Nate's folks and lounging on my mom's floor...I sure have a smile this week!
"The Shrew is a tough little underground dweller that spars mostly with his own kind. Shrews will stop at nothing to defend their precious food supply, because in their world eating is truly a life-or-death situation. With their incredibly high metabolism, including a heart that beats 20 times faster than a human's, shrews must eat triple their body weight every day or they will starve to death. Even if they are successful in doing so, it's still a lose-lose situation. All that gorging leads straight to an early grave, as most shrews die within less than a year." I might have to change that story!
Both these young folk have a deliciously different sense of humor. When Nate was living in Ireland, they'd exchange clever little anecdotes by hotmail based on their 'people watching' skills...or powerpoint presentations of deep sea slug/seahorse marriage stories and the like. Sometimes these were forwarded to me...which upped my mood for the day. Anyway...the topic of the swimming pool:a tiny shrew boating (stranded) on a lonely flipflop... HA! ("Are you sure it wasn't Stuart Little?" "Was it oaring with a dried leaf?" Yes, the correct word is 'rowing' not 'oaring', but I'm not correct.) I picture it with a tiny Shakespearean dress w/ minute white apron and cap, gently riding the waves, an acorn bowl filled with mulberry seeds traveling by her side...
The weekend was great! So many people around right now! My sis-in-law from Georgia/Florida flew in for a B-day Party; she had just made Chief in the Air Guard and we got to watch footage from her ceremony: Congratulations! She works her buns off... My other sis-in-law from Fairbanks flew in for a Wedding... and brought the most amazing chocolates. We got in a tif over whether she said bought or brought--as in homemade! Talk about perfect. Pale green mint, white with hearts, chocolate stripes. We visited one of HER relatives and had a bazillion farm kitties love us. Brian had sent us pics of his new knives for our viewing pleasure. A nephew showed us his rotating hog-roasting barbecue-- I think I might have newcomers for the invention page. UPS friend held a Hunter Safety Course for Nate and Bail, where Bailey shot the center out of all of her targets--rifle and pistol. I did well--with a bipod! Nate kicked a$$ with the shotguns and we all shot Brig's Russian antique. Talk about chest percussion...ba-whoomp. ba-whoomp. The kids got a new puppy for their move to Alaska and she's a fuzzy sweet thing with a great temperament(and I don't even like dogs!) Between the good company of Nate's folks and lounging on my mom's floor...I sure have a smile this week!
"The Shrew is a tough little underground dweller that spars mostly with his own kind. Shrews will stop at nothing to defend their precious food supply, because in their world eating is truly a life-or-death situation. With their incredibly high metabolism, including a heart that beats 20 times faster than a human's, shrews must eat triple their body weight every day or they will starve to death. Even if they are successful in doing so, it's still a lose-lose situation. All that gorging leads straight to an early grave, as most shrews die within less than a year." I might have to change that story!
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