Monday, April 20, 2009

Strange Corner

After posting a few comments about previous 'pillow stabbings' that occurred upstairs...I was bemused by Dan's phrase: "you seem to live in a very strange corner of the planet" while I hung out laundry yesterday....

Thwunk. (pause) Thwunk. (pause) Thwunk. (pause) This was the repetitive sound created by by neighbor as he practiced his bow hunting next door.

Chink. (pause) Chink. (pause) Chinkklang. (pause) Chink. (pause) Chink. (pause) Chink-klang. (pause) As I was removing laundry later, I listened to the sounds of throwing knives hitting a huge board set against a shed. This is across the alley. The chinker? Some lady I have never met.

Brrrrrrmmmm. Brrrmmmm. or Zeeeeee zeeeee z
eeeee zumzumzum. or Gggrrrugggrummmgrum. Gggrrrggrrummm. A youth rides motorbike/scooter/4 wheeler hours at a time...up and down the alley.

The thought crossed my mind...if they were out here at the same time, bowman could overshoot his target, hitting knifegirl, who twists in mid-air, stabbing scooterboy as he flies by.

Sigh. What can I say? I looked down and saw a blowgun dart in our yard, neglected by my son who has just purchased a 5foot shooter as tall as my forehead.
(I shall refrain from my "getting shot by a blowgun" story for another blog; forseeable title: "why my son is a fast runner"!)

Anyway, I found almost 30 mushrooms under my cherry trees while listening to knifegirl--I'm wearing one on my pinky-- and here are a few more dart purchases. Evil-looking, aren't they?
Now tell me: what would you say if your son said "Hey, quick! Google, 'how to make poison'! From kitchen stuff. For my blowgun!"?
I told him I was probably already on the FBI's most wanted when googling about my 'crackhouse' dollhouse...and just because they made homemade Ricin on 'Breakin
g Bad' a few weeks ago did NOT mean that it would kill a bird immediately... animal poisons involved a lot of tracking and patience as the victim slowly wanders....blah blah.
Yes, we have a strange little corner here...what can I say? And there is a muskrat in a bowl in my fridge...
Don't worry. No Banjos or Stills though.
But I bet there is down the street!

1 comment:

Dan Johnson said...

You never cease to amaze me with stories from your neck of the nape, B! Keep 'em coming! Other than our huge drug problem her it seems downright normal compared to Wamego...on the surface anyway..